i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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