i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
