how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
