sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
