is your mom at the bar?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
