so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
