Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
