clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
