Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
