you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
