who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
