sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
