He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
