He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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