and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
