worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
