Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
