So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I licked your asshole in confidence.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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