Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
