I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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