She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
