Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
