god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
