my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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