can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
