based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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