Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Holy shit dude........stairs
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
