how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
