true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
