I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
