Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
