Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
