My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You ate ashes out of my bong
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
