Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
