I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
