omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
how drunk are you?
Several
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
