he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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