She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
