Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
