I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it's great music for shaving your balls
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
