i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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