at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
