Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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