Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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