She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
