Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Swine flu is the new snow day.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
