32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
