A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
