do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
