are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
