Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
