Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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