Pants 0. Shit 1.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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